The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize