I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
