Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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