im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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