I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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