I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
