We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
