We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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