Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
