I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
