I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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