But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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