I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
