I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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