A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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