What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
