Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
