Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
