didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
