There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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