Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
