I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize