my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
