i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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