u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
