I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
