Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His hands were made for my vagina.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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