lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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