he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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