Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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