just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
