Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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