So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize