I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
