so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
