This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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