This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
