he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
