is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
