She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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