they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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