I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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