we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
