It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
