they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
