Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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