Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i barfeds in our rink
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
