he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
