South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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