Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
