Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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