Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
