Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
