Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
50% drunk capacity currently
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
