I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
