He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
