this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
what day is it and did you see me today?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
