She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize