You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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